April 27, 2011 § Leave a comment
I don’t even mean to be blogging right now. I should be working on my corporate tax outline – trying to learn how to differentiate when a corporate redemption of its shareholder’s stock will be treated as a sale/exchange or when it will be treated as a distribution. But I decided to put on “Heavenly Day” by Patty Griffin, and now I’m wistfully remembering and reliving my best friend’s wedding this past weekend. My constant replaying of the song probably doesn’t help my overwhelming feelings of nostalgia.
What exactly am I nostalgic for? It could be the wedding because the wedding was an absolute DREAM. I wish I could describe it better than saying it was like a scene right out of an Anthropologie catalogue. Explaining that the wedding was set perfectly on a warm spring afternoon at the Four Seasons over looking a perfectly lush and beautiful town lake doesn’t give nearly enough detail to just perfect the setting was. Even if I talk about the gentle breeze blowing through the air only serving to make Shelby look even more beautiful than she did in her perfect dress, or how the music was chosen perfectly and waffled through the guests in the most gentle and romantic manner, or how the soft haze of early evening really did cast a perfect glow for after wedding pictures of the newly weds – all of those details fails to capture how entirely magical the event was in my eyes.
So maybe I am nostalgic for so much more than just the wedding. I’m nostalgic for the history that this ceremony represented to me. The wedding was beyond words – simply because it was the marriage of one of my best friends to someone she has dated, loved, and grown with for the past 7 years. It was beautiful because it was the coming together of two people, the coming together of two sets of families, two sets of friends that have been so intertwined in their lives the past 7 years that it’s hard to tell who was whose family first, and who was whose friend first. This celebration was the culmination of so much time invested, so much effort given, and so many memories created. I am nostalgic for all of that.
I am nostalgic for times in high school when life was incredibly simple because our world was just that small. When Friday nights would be spent with Shelby on drill team dancing away, watching Daniel play football. I am nostalgic for the year I spent living with Shelby, rediscovering our friendship and how it has changed as we had changed, as Shelby and Daniel was likely rediscovering their relationship after going through long distance themselves. That was the first time my heart had gotten truly broken and the first time I had discovered just how deeply empathetic a friend can be. That was also the year Shelby taught me how to make French toast and the year that we ordered Tiff’s Treats and danced around our apartment to wordless music. I’m nostalgic for getting to be in New York City with Shelby after I started law school. It was not only great to see her thrive and blossom in her exciting dance career in the city, but it was also a process of me rediscovering why I loved New York so much. I had been away for over a year and a half at that point and I got to see how New York still held so much potential and energy for me as it did for her. That was also the time that I got to witness just what it meant to love someone enough to let them go do things that was important to them on an individual level as Daniel loved and supported Shelby from Texas. More than anything, their relationship at that time showed me just how strong love can be – and as cheesy as it sounds, love can withstand all and if you really love someone, than waiting is worth it.
So watching her get married to Daniel on Saturday was more than just another romantic wedding – more than just another beautiful bride with her handsome groom – it was watching a culmination of seven years. Watching the representation of completed transformation – of a little girl and boy who was once 17 having grown into two amazing adults. It was in an odd way – watching my own transformation as certain big moments in my life can be marked by certain big moments in their relationship. As they got married and are moving onto a new life of togetherness they have never known before, I am too graduating from law school and moving onto a new life of everything that I have never known before.
So, here’s to a few more moments of dwelling in what was before I joyfully, fearfully, excitedly move mentally into what is to come.
April 21, 2011 § Leave a comment
So I was headed to the airport today from Bloomington, Indiana to Austin, Texas today. The weather in Bloomington is a chilly dreary 45 degrees. On the other hand, the weather in Texas (according to certain very reliable sources) is a warm sunny 95 degrees. So yes I’m wearing shorts. I’m wearing shorts because I’m trying to travel light. I am also wearing my super compact North Face fleece but I’m wearing shorts because jeans take up a lot of space.
So far – at least three women have given me super snide remarks. “Aren’t you COLD dear?” said one woman at the check in counter. “Shorts, in this weather?” smirked one woman on the shuttle bus from the parking terminal. A third one even just put it all together: “Man you must be freezing in those shorts.” Yes I am cold. But really…? A little too opinionated and a little too open and snippy about those opinions if you ask me. This reminds me – a few weeks ago I got commented TWICE from women about texting while I was moving. The first time was on a slow week night and I was crossing the street to a bar – there were no cars, and I was on a cross walk. I was walking slowly because I was trying to message my friends (whom were inside) and attempting to ask them where they were in the bar. Not only did a car drive at least 40 mph (in what was probably a 20 mph zone) to get to me, but they honked at me twice and as they drove by, the old woman yelled “stop texting!!” You yell at me and you honk at me? I feel violated. A few days later, I was driving in Chicago trying to find a certain hotel where my friend was staying and unfortunately had gotten very lost because google maps was pointing me in a direction where there was no hotel – in fact, no tall buildings period. I had gotten myself on a pretty deserted street and was being very careful but studying, no, scrutinizing my google maps on my phone trying to figure how I, superior navigator extraordinaire, had gotten waylaid. Apparently, while at a stop sign, the woman in the vehicle behind me thinks it’s appropriate to try and pull up next to me (so she’s in the opposite lane) and yells at me me to once again “stop texting!!!!!” Of course, I’m annoyed and pretty enraged myself … so I yell at her that I’m not texting and I’m looking at my map. Things didn’t end so well. No one got hurt, but it dcould have definitely turned into fistacuffs.
Anyways. I’m sure men do this. I’m sure men make random accusatory remarks and say words that are implicitly full of judgment.. Don’t they? What is it about the nature of women that makes them care so much – but step beyond the realm of appropriate care into just being obnoxious and opinionated? I wonder.